The San Francisco Chronicle recently featured an excerpt from Ilan Stavans’ new book, “Love and Language” (Yale University Press; 261 pages; $25). Stavans, an essayist, critic, and fiction writer, conducted a series of six dialogues with Veronica Albin, a senior lecturer of Spanish and translation at Rice University, to track the evolution of the concept of love.
Here’s a tiny peek:
Verónica Albin: How should the word love be defined?
Ilan Stavans: As a most amorphous human feeling, capable of extremes: attraction and repulsion, exultation and misery, life and death, Eros and Thanatos.
The definition is imperfect, however, perhaps more so than for any other feeling. How does one define hatred? And envy? In fact, think about the way Western civilization conceptualizes feeling, as the condition of being emotionally affected. But at what point aren’t we emotionally affected? And how many feelings are there? Five, like the senses? Seven, like the days of the week, or better yet, like the deadly sins? Try cataloging them and you’ll fall prey to confusion.
VA: Are feelings and emotions the same?
IS: They have become synonymous, yes, although this is something of a cliche. A feeling, the dictionary states, is an emotional state, a disposition. Conversely, an emotion is the part of the consciousness that involves feeling. In any case, I prefer the word emotion.
VA: Why?
IS: Maybe it’s a reaction. In the Mexico of my salad days, the word sentimiento, feeling, had a New Age quality. I remember the expression “estar en contacto con los sentimientos,” to be in touch with one’s feelings.
VA: What is the nature of an emotion?
IS: Emotions aren’t quantifiable; they aren’t even verifiable. Yet they rule our life from beginning to end. They are messy, rowdy and turbulent. While they might be predictable, their patterns depend on circumstance and temperament. We don’t fall in love because we want to, nor do we befriend a person by simply pressing a button. These actions are directed by an internal force. Reason might seek to control them, set limits to them, but emotions are autonomous; they exist beyond reason.
VA: How many distinct emotions are there?
IS: Let me offer an alphabetical, albeit partial, list of these nebulous experiences: angst, anguish, attraction, bereavement, betrayal, compassion, disappointment, ecstasy, elation, envy, exultation, failure, glee, gratefulness, guilt, happiness, hatred, helplessness, inferiority, insecurity, ire, jealousy, keenness, kinkiness, kinship, loss, love, meanness, misery, nostalgia, obligation, obsession, outrage, panic, pride, qualm, queasiness, regret, remorse, repulsion, revulsion, sadness, shame, trust, unhappiness, vulnerability, withdrawal, xenophobia, yearning and zealousness.
VA: What makes love different?
IS: The fact that its contradictions make each of us feel unique.
VA: Contradictions or not, we know when we are in love …
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